Getting a little scared.

So while my doctor predicts baby to be early, and I have no idea when she or he will arrive and it's gotten me thinking about labour.

I remember in the earlier stages of Labor describing the pain to my husband. So I remember what I said clearly. However I don't actually remember the pain! I remember being in a lot of pain, and that I loved the pushing phase (and oxygen) but the pain is all but gone really. I remember thinking weeks after I'll never forget the pain. But I have. I do recall that as soon as baby is out the pain fades from your mind and it's instantly over (the pain). So at least I can look forward to that.

In the mean time I know that as soon as I get my first few 'real' contractions I'll probably have a flash back of the pain and recall it all. I'm slightly scared that when that happens I'll become scared of the pain etc. I'm praying that when it happens I'll actually be strong and say it wasn't so bad..... Either way, I've done it before, I can do it again! That's my motto and I'm going to do the best to stick with it! I have had one real contraction, it was just enough that I went "that was real" however I didn't have any following so I didn't recall the pain aspect.

I tried to tell Orlund about my fears. He understands, however I feel alone in the worry. He is awesome and a great support (and during Labour was amazing), however he doesn't have to endure the pain, only I can do that. I'm just going to keep giving myself pep talks and pray I don't wimp out!

ps~ I love reading other peoples birth stories, while reading some I started to think an epidural sounds like 'heaven' (so long as all goes smoothly). With Joy I knew 100% I didn't want one, so the thought of being open to one shocked me. Well then I watched a video on how they put an epidural in..............................................I HATE needles................................I now am 100% positive I don't want one this time either! lol.